


What More Do You Want?

by Wolfstar4evr



Series: Supernatural Oneshots [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Sam Winchester, Heaven, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, John Winchester Being an Asshole, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Post Demon-Dean, Protective Bobby Singer, Protective Ellen Harvelle, Protective Mary Winchester, Resurrected John Winchester, maybe slightly OOC, post Deanmon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 18:05:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5258459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfstar4evr/pseuds/Wolfstar4evr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Winchester has been mysteriously resurrected and no one is sure why. He quickly finds himself reunited with his sons in some sort of bunker, and he easily falls back into their old role of Drill Sargent. </p><p>However, the boys (Sam especially) are having none of it, and their old friends watch from heaven as an explosion ensues. Some can't help but feel slightly smug. </p><p>(This could be read as a continuation of my other oneshot Your Fault however it also works as a stand alone one shot.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	What More Do You Want?

When John wakes up he's in some sort of bedroom. Immediately, he tries to move, swinging his legs off the bed and stopping in his tracks, going on high alert and reaching for a weapon as he realises he is not alone. "Calm down," The man says, staring at him with calculating eyes. "You're going to rip your stitches."

John looks down at his arm, seeing a bandage wrapped around it. The man holds up a knife. "Had to check," He says coldly, waving a hand at John's shirt. "Did all the other tests as well." Looking down, John sees that his shirt is wet. He wonders how he didn't notice before. He looks up. The man is... familiar. More than familiar, even. It takes him a moment as he's still confused and disoriented, but after a moment... he knows. "Dean," John whispers, swallowing roughly.

Dean nods in acknowledgement. "Dad," He says, but it sounds forced. He stands. "Sam will be back soon," He informs his father, barely meeting his eye. "He went to get food." Then he leaves. John follows in confusion, wondering what he did for Dean to be showing him such disrespect.

"Son," He says, putting on a commanding voice that always scared his son into explaining. "What's going on?"

"You were dead," Dean replies, walking down a hall and not even looking at him. "Now you're not. It's 2014. I'm 34. Have fun."

His son turns into a huge room, a library maybe, and walks towards a table covered in books and papers. He quickly shuts all the books and covers the papers, stacking them in a corner in such a way that the titles aren't visible. John narrows his eyes in suspicioun. "What happened?" He asks, almost urgently. "What's happened since I've died?"

Dean stays silent. He continues to sort books.

"Tell me," John demands, and Dean finally looks up.

"I will tell you," He promises, and his voice is softer than before. "When Sam gets back. It's his story as much as it is mine."

"Does he know I'm here?" Is his next question.

Dean nods, almost sollemnly. "He was the one who patched you up."

John only sighs. He's not sure what has happened, but it doesn't look as though he will be getting answers out of Dean any time soon. He can only hope Sam will be more open, as he always was. 

***

When Sam gets back he's not alone. A man in a tan coat is with him, and when the man takes in the fact that _Dean_ is not alone he frowns and tilts his head, making his way to them faster than before. Sam hangs back slightly. The man with the tan coat tries to reach out with two fingers to touch John's forehead, but he takes a step back. The man squints his blue eyes and tilts his head again before glancing at Dean, who clears his throat. "Dad, this is Cas," He announces. "He's going to make sure you're all human."

John opens his mouth to ask _how the fuck he's going to do that_ when Cas's hand is already on his head. He tries to step back, but he's held in place by a force that is definitely not natural.

 _Dangerous_ , his mind screams. _Get out of this now_.

But then it's over, and Cas is turning to his boys. "It is your father," He says. "He has been brought down from heaven."

"Great," Dean says, but his tone hasn't softened a bit with the new information. "Now we just need to find out _what_ dragged him down." Then he leaves the room.

Sam shoots his father an apologetic smile, but then turns to Cas as the man turns to leave. "I'll be back in a few hours," He murmurs, his voice even deeper than before. "Call me if anything happens."

"Of course," Sam replies, and then the raven haired man is gone. Before John has time to relax he finds himself enveloped in a hug by his youngest son, whose hair tickles his face and neck and who has to bend down to even wrap his arms around his _neck_ , let alone his torso like he is now. "I'm glad you're back," Is all he manages, before he breaks the hug and smiles slightly. John smiles in return, but it falters as he remembers all that has remained unsaid; all the questions he needs answers to. Seeing this, Sam's face falls. "I take it Dean didn't explain anything?"

 _When did Sam get so good at reading people?_ "No, not really."

"Well, I guess that's what I'm here for," Sam says, and there's a self-loathing tone laced into almost every word. What the hell is that supposed to mean? "Fire away."

They sit down at a library table, and John knows what his first question is going to be. "What was that man? Don't you dare say human, Sammy."

Sam winces, pursing his lips as he stares away from John. "An angel," He says quietly after a moment, and John doesn't whether to laugh or scold the boy, but when Sam turns his gaze to him he knows his son is telling the truth. That means his sons have trusted a _supernatural creature_. How stupid have the become?

"Wait you're serious?"

"As Lucifer's Cage."

John blanches at that. _What the fuck does that mean?_

"Careful Sammy," Dean's voice chimes in as he joins them with two beers. He sets one down in front of Sam and the oldest Winchester tries to hide his hurt at being forgotten. "Dad doesn't get our Hell humour yet. Don't want to send him to an early grave. Where's Cas?"

"He left," Sam replies serenely, pushing the beer over to John who nods gratefully, although if _that_ was anything to go by he's going to need something stronger for the rest of the story. "He said he'll be back. Also, spotted a few demons while I was out. Not sure if they saw me, but it seemed to me they were heading this way."

John's mouth drops open at that. Demons? A _few_ demons? And Sam just walked away without dealing with them? He raised them to be better than that. But before he can comment Dean is picking up his jacket off one of the chairs. Sam has yet to take his off. "Then we better get going," Dean commands, and John grins as they all go out the door. At least he can still count on Dean.

***

He's wrong. When they get to the tiny store Sam said he saw the demons at they're still there. There are ten, at least, and while John readies himself to sneak around the back and borrow one of the boy's phones to call for back up, his sons just stride right in with _knives_. Within twenty minutes Sam and Dean are standing over ten bodies, having stabbed five each and making it out without even a scratch. After that they get rid of the bodies and the CCTV. Then they're back at the bunker.

"What the fuck was that?" John explodes. "Have I taught you nothing?"

Sam stays silent, however it seems that Dean can't help himself. "Don't try to scold us for something you don't understand."

"Don't understand?" John asks, and Sam sits down, staring sollemnly at a table. "Don't _understand_? I think I understand perfectly thank you. You have gone against everything I ever taught you, you could have been _killed_. You were foolish and irrasponsible. How the hell could you do that?"

"We've been through worse," Dean mutters, hands clenching around the back of the chair facing Sam's. "That was nothing."

"How in the fuck was that nothing?"

So they tell him. He'd like to say every detail, but he can tell there are parts they're leaving out. They tell him about Sam dying on the day John escaped Hell, and they tell him about Dean's deal. He feels sick when they tell him about how Dean spent fourty years in hell. He feels rage when they tell him (although very reluctantly) that Sam started the apocalypse (although they won't say _how_ ). He feels his blood run cold when they tell him about how Sam jumped into _Lucifer's fucking Cage_ with _two archangels_ for the rest of the world and how he was under for a year and a half, and how it completely broke his soul to the point of insanity which Cas (Castiel is his full name, apparently) managed to fix. They tell him about how new monsters called Leviathans were released, and how the leader shot and killed Bobby, and how killing the leader got Dean and Cas an express ticket to Purgatory. They tell him Dean spent a year there and then he got out, Cas being pulled out by angels not long after. They tell him about the trials Sam took on to close the gates of Hell, however when they explain that they failed they don't explain _how_ they failed. Then they stop. It doesn't make sense. From their timline the last of that happened about a year ago. What happened in the last year that was so bad? He opens his mouth to comment; to react; he hasn't had a chance to just yet. But before he does the bunker door opens, and Castiel appears at the top of the stairs, quickly making his way down before stopping and taking in the scene before him. John and his children are sitting at seperate tables. A self-loathing expression shadows Sam's face. Dean just looks pissed, absenmindedly rubbing a spot on his arm. John is staring at them in anger and slight awe. After a moment, Castiel simply takes a seat next to the oldest brother.

"So this place is..." John says after a moment, wanting to break the tense silence. The boys already told them how they found it.

"Yeah," Sam agrees. "It's nice. Never had our own rooms before. The library's cool too."

Dean snorts at that, smirking at his brother and whispering 'nerd'. His little brother simply rolls his eyes in response. They sit in silence once again, until Dean goes to bed. Sam follows him, directing Cas to a spare room as he goes and John is left in the library to find his own way. He wonders if they meant to leave him behind.

***

It doesn't take him long to find an empty bedroom, and as he lies awake on top of the sheet he wonders how it came to this. When did he become such a non-entity in their lives? At what point did he become a distant memory? A bad memory? At what point did Dean stop admiring him? When did Sam begin to pity him? Because he sees that. He looks at Dean and sees cold, hard anger. He looks at Sam and he sees a knowing look in those hazel eyes; he sees a pity that wasn't there before. At least Sam is on his side, or at least he seems to be.

John can only hope tomorrow will be better.

***

It's not, and neither is the next day. Or the day after.

Dean almost throws something at him the day he tells them they need to leave the bunker. He doesn't like how attached they are; it's not healthy. A place like this won't last forever, and they need to start saying their goodbyes before they get hurt. Dean won't stay in the room with him after that, and Sam barely speaks. Although his youngest has a thoughtful look on his face, telling John that at least Sam is taking his ideas on board.

When did Sam become the reasonable one?

***

Sometimes he brings up their story.

There is a part of him that is proud - very proud. They have stopped two apocalypses, after all. However he also finds himself criticising them, and their techniques and everything that has happened. Why didn't the close the gates of hell? How did they start the first apocalypse (after he brought it up to Sam so much Dean began to shoulder some of the blame)?

He only wishes he wasn't only saying the second part out loud.

***

One day, while Cas is in the kitchen to get Dean food because he sensed the hunter was hungry, John brings up the angel. "He needs to go," is how he opens his argument, and as Dean's glare turns to him he almost wishes he'd kept his mouth shut, but his sons need to realise how stupid they are being. "He's supernatural. He can't be trusted."

"He died for us," Dean hisses, his voice raising in volume and lowering into a dangerous pitch towards the end. "He rebelled against his entire family, for us. He dragged both of us out of Hell. He's staying."

"He's dangerous," John insists. "He needs to go before he kills you. Jesus Christ, you must have fallen far for you to not be able to see how he's-"

"Shut up."

That does make John stop, as it's not Dean's voice. It's Sam's. Sweet, calm Sam who has been nothing but helpful to him all this time. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Sam mutters, and no one except Dean notices as Cas comes back into the room with a burger and a beer.

"He's dangerous-" John tries to repeat himself; tries to get Sam to understand, but he's interrupted again.

"NO!" Sam roars, stading from his seat so violently it clatters to the ground. John does the same, although slightly calmer. "You don't get to do that! You don't get to tell us how to live!"

"I'm your father!"

"And?" John is shocked as that word leaves his son's mouth. "What the hell does that mean anymore? You raised us to do this. You raised us to be hunters, and that's what we are, and yet all you've done since you've got back is criticise us for it!"

John is fuming. He should have known that Sam hadn't changed. He should have seen this coming. "I never wanted this for you! I never wanted you to become this!" 

"Oh boohoo!" Sam hisses, and Dean snorts behind John. He shoots him a look, however his oldest son simply raises his eyebrows. Castiel's expression is completely unreadble. Sam continues. "I know you didn't want this! Okay! You told me! You wanted Dean to have a home! You wanted me to go to school! Well look around, Dean has a home! I've been to school and in case you haven't noticed I could learn pretty much anything I want in the library alone! And yet you want us to leave! You want us to banish or kill one of the only friends we have left, Dean's best friend, even!"

"You're still hunters," John tries to argue. He tries to show them that even though he wants these things for them hunters can't have them. They won't last. He just doesn't want them to get hurt, and the things that have to go to make sure his sons are safe are Castiel and the bunker.

"Because that's what you raised is to be!" Sam roars, stepping towards John in a slightly threatening manner. "Whether you wanted that for us doesn't matter because that is still what we are! We are two of the best hunters in America, maybe even the world! We can walk into a group full of demons and walk out without a scratch! Dean can take on an entire vampire nest of his own! I managed to overthrow Lucifer in my own mind! We've stopped at least two fucking apocalypses, maybe even three, and through all that somehow we gained a home and friends and a fucking weird family but still a family! We've lost more and suffered more than you ever have or will, and we have made it through more than anyone else in existence ever has or will ever, and yet apparently that's still not enough! What more do you want?! When will we be good enough for you?!"

The oldest Winchester is silent after that, and his face falls. Turning around, he sees Dean staring at him sadly, but also with a questioning expression. He wants to know the answers to Sam demands, but John can't give them. He doesn't know. He doesn't know why they're not good enough, why their lives aren't good enough, and he doesn't know when they will be. Turning back to his youngest he finds Sam already up the stairs and reaching for the door, and has a flap of wings reaches his ears he turns again and sees that both Dean and the angel have gone.

Rubbing a hand down his face John contemplates how he managed to fuck up so monumentally. He hasn't even been alive a week and yet both his sons are against him. Both hate him in some degree. Both probably never want to see him again. But he'll stay. He'll stay, and he'll try, _try_ , to make amends. He only hopes it's possible.

***

In heaven, Ellen is grinning at how Bobby is trying not to laugh himself hoarse, and how Mary herself can't contain a smile. Jo and Ash are simply drinking together quietly, thinking of everything they know that John doesn't, that the boys ommitted, and how he felt about those things while in heaven. Most of those things can never be explained, and so they know that John would never react as well alive as he did while dead.

The Roadhouse TV (set up by Ash) continues to show John's forlorn face as he places himself in a chair. None of them hate him, particularly. They hate his choices, but all of them have memories of a better man than the man who allowed people to die in the name of revenge, who destroyed his sons' lives when he didn't have to. None of them want him dead, but they can't help but revel in the pain he feels now. He deserved this, he deserved to be told exactly what he was doing, and yet most of them still hope that the Winchesters can be reunited.

Those who hope know that is very much possible, but not while Dean has the Mark of Cain staining his soul.

Which means the Winchesters have a very, _very_ long way to go before that possibility becomes a reality.

**Author's Note:**

> :/ Sorry this wasn't so good. I might write another version.


End file.
